To be Found by You my God

I feel lost taking this strange path. I’m searching for myself in this faceless crowd. I’m breathless from trying to escape this darkness. Fear is building up inside as it tries to consume my dreams, my hope, and my faith. I’m drowning in this past-crazy-faced life. I am weighed down by everything and nothing. My mind is a mess because of the people telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. I’m excessively wounded. They crushed my heart, though they weren’t able to break it, though it healed, and just scarred. That heart of mine  will never be the same again. And my soul, it is on the brink, not being able to do anything as its light gradually weakens. Isn’t this enough? Please let this be enough, let me regain myself and my strength.

Although you never left me, I’m sorry for being the one who let go and lost the way. Now I’m losing myself, and the one I should be. It’s You that keeps me going. I never believed in promises, but I believe in Your word.  I still believe in the plans You have for me. Thus, I trust that You will search for me once again.  I’ll be right here, holding on to whatever shade of light left inside. Enlighten me once again. Let me see You in everyone, and in everything there is in this world. Let me open up as You reach out to this unworthy child of Yours. Cleanse me with Your merciful and loving heart. Let me believe again in life, and love. I only want to be found by You, and be wrapped again in the tenderness of Your arms. Bless me with the love that never cease. It’s Your unconditional love my God, that's all i ever needed...

One Life, One Chance

Constant Change

People come and go

Don't beg them to stay

They will stay if they want to

Constant Change

Sometimes they come back

Give them a chance we all deserve

But never let them ruin the essence of chance

Your Smile

Friendship and Goodbyes

To all my friends back in college, and review days!  Wherever you are right now guys, I hope that you've got what your heart desired. God bless. Miss you everyone, especially G134!

Unfettered Thoughts

Oh, hear my unfettered thoughts

I’ve been running from fate’s cruelest curse

I’ve been hiding from the chain of love

But then, this untamed heart of mine

Was never told about life’s sweet offering

It’s you my greatest gift of joy and pain

Oh, my bittersweet there is something in you

That makes me want to be enclosed, entrapped

By every bit of pain and joy by the grip of love

Maybe it’s in the way you walk, glide and beam

And well, I know there is much more in you

Oh, my greatest gift hear the hymn of my heart

Is it in the way you speak in the middle of the crowd?

Can it be in your voice that puts me in trance?

Or is it in the sweet devilish smile of yours?

What it is in you that set my heart on fire?

There is something in the way you drives me mad

And in the way you enlighten the bluest day of mine

This something in you that keep me awake at night

Lying on bed doing nothing but think of you

Oh, there is just something in you I can’t capture

And now, here I am with unfettered thoughts

Praying and begging for you to put a halt

To the things in you that I love not to love

The things that puts me here writing free

Every thoughts and emotions in me_ unfettered

A poem written way back in college. <3

Random Inspiring Songs of Life

1. WALK ON THE WATER 

So what are you waiting for?
What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities try to alter you

You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all
It takes in you
You can walk on the water too 
So get out
And let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste, Don't wait
Don't you turn around and miss out
Everything you were made for
I know you're not sure
So you play it safe
Try to run away

If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go 

2. STAND IN THE RAIN

SHE WON'T MAKE A SOUND

ALONE IN THIS FIGHT WITH HERSELF

AND THE FEARS WHISPERING

IF SHE STANDS, SHE FALLS DOWN

SHE WANTS TO BE FOUND

THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH EVERYTHING SHE'S RUNNING FROM

WANTS GIVE UP AND LIE DOWN

*SO STAND IN THE RAIN

 STAND YOUR GROUND

STAND UP WHEN IT'S ALL CRASHING DOWN

YOU STAND THROUGH THE PAIN

YOU WON'T DROWN

AND ONE DAY WHAT LOST CAN BE FOUND

YOU STAND IN THE RAIN

3. SWEET SILVER LINING

I’m going home down hearted and hoping 
I’m close to some new beginning 
I know there’s a reason for everything 
That comes and goes 

But so many people are looking to me 
To be strong and to fight 
But I’m just surviving 
And I maybe weak but I’m never defeated 
And I’ll keep believing in clouds with that sweet silver lining 

Most days I try my best 
To put on a brave face 
But inside my bones are cold 
And my heart breaks 
But all the while something’s keeping me safe and alive 

4. BEAUTY FROM PAIN

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

5. HANGING ON

and when the darkness falls

i can't see what's before me

you're voice is like a dawn

always there to guide me

without you i just can't get by

so i'm hanging on to every word you speak

cause it's all that i need

hanging on to every word you say

to light up my way

A Million Miles from Nowhere

*07/16/11 @ Bo's Coffee*

She seems oblivious to the deafening sound the world creates. She looks blankly at the glass window, and seems lost at that very moment. She looks like someone who won't make it. But then again, something caught you of guard and made you think twice. It was her eyes, blazing with hope and faith despite the pain it tried to conceal. It was her heart, beating too strong for someone who have been crushed by life obstacles. Together, her tears and smile speaks that she won't back down and quit life's journey. All of this made you believe that somehow, she would arrive at where she should be. And then someday, a million miles from nowhere, she would become someone she's ought to be.

A Letter for My Cherished One

I am not a grammar savvy. I’m just someone who loves to put almost everything into writing. And now, that I have you in my life out of the blue, in a time where my mind has decided to seal my heart from anyone, I only find it pertinent to grab a pen and write. So here it goes…

It is rather unexpected that you easily become a part of my journey. The unfortunate affair that made me spent time with you, and get to know you, made me realize how different you are from the image of you that my mind created, based on what other people says of you. Thus, even though the reason behind the chance for us to meet again is an unkind circumstance; I am still thankful, because it allowed us to have each other, and be a part of each others’ life. If until when, I do not know, but I’m hoping that the answer will be favorable for both of us.

It would be a lie if I tell you that I don’t think of the role you will be playing in my life, or until when you will be playing it, because I do. But now, I’m trying hard to set all the thinking aside, because back then, I always think and tried to analyze life. The only thing that matters now, is you being there for me. I have to thank you for that. Moreover,  you become my breath of fresh air everyday. You made me smile and laugh like no one else. And not just by any silly things you say or do, but rather it is because of how witty and intelligent you are. You were also quite right that I take life too seriously. But with you, I learned to worry less, and remembered not to sweat the small stuff. You also seem to serve as my source of ease and fun in life. Even though we do not see each other often, it really feels good to have you around. And just by knowing that you are out there somewhere under the same sky, for me to have and to hold, it brings enormous sense of comfort from the madness of this world.

Furthermore, it was you who made me realize that one is never too strong to do things on his/her own. You made it easy for me to accept that how strong I am, is also how weak I can be. That is why; I am really grateful that you made yourself a part of my life, even though you are very much aware of what I’ve been through recently. I also know that just like me, you have your own topmost priority. I agree that it is extremely significant, and that you need to accomplish it. You have to make it happen. You need to know that I am here to support and pray for you. I know you can do it, and I promise not to be your distraction, instead I’m hoping to be your source of inspiration, strength, and peace of mind.

Lastly, truth be told, things for us will be somehow tough and confusing at times. To have someone like me in your life and to have someone like you in mine will not be easy. Well, great things are not easy to achieve. So, I’d like to say that we just need to take this journey as a challenge head-on. Let us take the necessary steps together and apart as well, because we still have our own lives to live to conquer our individual priorities and dreams. Let’s just be there for each other and make this right.

Hence, whatever the future may bring, I have already taken my leap of faith on you, on us, and on whatever it is that we already have. And even though there will be countless possibility that this might again cause me heartaches. I also know, and hope, that there will be immeasurable opportunity that this will give us a steady source of security and happiness. Therefore, my cherished one, you ought to know that my untamed heart is already certain to give you altogether its trust and love in serenity.

Random Thoughts

When you get confused between what your brain and what your heart tells you to do, try to listen to what your kidneys' trying to tell you. You'll never know you might end up with a brilliant idea, but if you still end up confused; then listen to your liver, or to your lungs, or to your skin,... last on the list is your reproductive organ coz' more often than not it leads to wrong decisions... w;)nk ^_^

Letting go is easy and simple, knowing when to let go makes it hard and complicated.

They say; “you’re lucky when you have countless friends.” But I say, that one to five person is enough if they’ll be able to understand me even in my silence.. Then, that’s when I’m BLESSED.

Love is the greatest gift you can give to others, but also don’t forget that it is the greatest gift you can give to yourself.

Let yourself stumble and be hurt… just don’t stay down there forever.

The best alarm clock in the world is waking up to the sound of your own heartbeat… the next best thing is having to wake up hearing the heartbeat of the one you love.

The will is the only thing that’s matter.

Nobody can be certain that he/she would be successful; the only thing certain is the freedom to try to be one.

Sometimes friends tell you things that pierce through your heart, it’s not that they mean to hurt you, they just know that whatever you tell them they would be open enough to hear you out and understand you no matter how hurtful it is; but also be reminded that they don’t have the right to do it over and over again.

The most precious gift one could have is having no trouble crossing back and forth on the said thin line between sanity and insanity.

I am who I am and that’s the end of it.

Insanely Sane

Love is being vulnerable, for it is the opening of your heart for somebody may it be a family, a friend, an enemy, or someone special. It will not ever be secure, for it takes every risk there is to keep the fire of love burning. When securities lies behind a heart that is closed, a love goes beyond limits you never imagine you would take.

Here on earth, it's more often that people look past the good things you've done and only focus on the wrong ones. I'm thankful that in His kingdom, it's all about His mercy and loving heart. <3

"'Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. It is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken. Love alters not with time’s brief hours  and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom.'"

True love is both an emotion and a decision that cannot be changed even when changes knocks on it's door.

Insanely Sane

There’s a fine line between friendship and love, sometimes you get to crossed that line without even knowing it. 11-11-10

Sometimes being insane is a gift.

When your heart hurts it doesn’t always mean you have to stop breathing. You’ll likely die young if that’s what you think is the right thing to do. 11-20-10

They say, “Those people, who really love you, would understand you by just looking into your eyes”. If that is the case then, there’s just few of them who do love me. 11-16-15

Lord, please do help me to keep my faith, and always fight the good fight. 11-14-10

It’s good to see that you can make those people close to your heart happy; but isn’t it unfair that when it’s time for you to be happy, sometimes you have to beg them first to be happy for you too? I guess, life really isn’t made to be fair. 11-13-10

Love is being vulnerable, for it is the opening of your heart for somebody, may it be a family, a friend, an enemy, or someone special. It will not ever be secure, for it takes every risk there is to keep the fire of love burning. When securities lie behind a heart that is closed, a love goes beyond limits you never imagined you would take. 11-12-10

True love is both an emotion and a decision that cannot be changed even when changes knock on its door.

11-11-10

Here on earth, it's more often that people look past good things you've done and only focus on the wrong ones. I'm thankful that in His kingdom, it's all about His mercy and loving heart. <3 11-10-10

The heartaches we feel are not the reason why we don't want to live another day. it is the cowardness to face the reasons behind it... in reality, because of those heartaches we strive to live another day for we know that tomorrow will give us a new day to heal, to be better, and to be wiser. 11-09-10

 

It's not only drugs that is addicting... just having friends that have a mind that works like yours is addicting too. ^_^ 11-08-10

 

No matter how much it hurt us, sometimes we still pursue things in the name of love. We cannot let go, and if we decide to let go... it feels like dying. It's merely because we are all made out of love. So no matter how much I want not to feel love, I can't. It feels like not trying to breathe air. It feels like a life without love is like a fish out of the water. 11-08-10

 

Sometimes it's irritating coz' I can't contain my tears; they just keep falling down my cheeks!!! I don't even know why that sometime is now. I don't even know for whom and for why these tears fall. :(( 11-05-10

 

The most person u can love & hurt the most is yourself. So you better end up loving "YOU" first before somebody else. Beside you can never give what you don't have. 11-03-10

 

It takes a real man to be a dad. 11-02-10

 

It is true love if we FEEL it, and not something we just yearn for. 11-01-10

FOREVER?

and takes a lot of effort plus faith to make it last.

Loving You and Letting Go

Today, I woke up knowing I would let you go.

You don't have to think of me anymore, nor care.

Though I can't promise you that I would do the same.

Because I have loved you for years, and I still do.

Maybe one day I would think and care less of you.

Now, letting go seems the only thing that is right.

It would be easier for both of us, especially for you.

I won't be able to hurt you further nor distract you.

Please feel no guilt at all, just live your life well.

And know that you will always be a part of my life.

I don't like saying I love you, but I do loved- love you.

I can't say that I'd love you forever the way I do now.

But one day I know our paths will cross again, and

When that day comes I know we'll both be okay.

Until that day then former boyfriend...

Now I bid goodbye, farewell.

Waiting in Wonder... You, Me, or is it US?

Rain pouring, tears flowing

Fear mounting, confusion rising

Waiting in wonder, what comes next?

Is it the moon that illuminates true love?

Or is it the darkest sky that shatters hope?

Hear me out, blurt it out, and be through with it

I tell you now, and I’ll tell you twice, speak it out

No need to bother for whatever I will and will not feel

For the joy and pain has been running through my veins

That changed my soul, my mind, my heart throughout time

There’s no need to run now, once, twice

Thrice is too exhausting you see, and then I hide

Though I know that it never worked, and never will

There is no escape, not in my dreams, nor in your dreams 

Not even in our reality, therefore don’t waste our time here

Come to me, tell me what’s inside your mind, your heart and soul

You can say, “I really like you, but not enough to love you”

Or you can say, “I don’t even like you”, I won’t mind at all

But if you say, “I love you”, say it ONLY when you TRULY DO

Then from there we’ll wait to see what the world has to offer...

For "You" and "Me", or would it be "Us"?

how come you called me Friend?

If you can’t even say what’s on your mind… If you can’t even try to listen… If you can’t even dare to understand someone else side… If all you care is yourself… and just because you’re already okay it will be enough for you, knowing some are still confused & hurting… If you won’t let them in… then how come you called them friend? 

 

I thought friends can talk anything & everything under the sun, i guess it doesn't apply to everyone. But what's the point of friendship when you can't even talk properly? Can i also say that "I will only care for myself?!"... sadly it's not who I am. Someone enlighten me, what friendsip really means!!!

 

you say you're mature, but your the most immature mature person i've ever known!!! a mature person can handle things & knows how to talk through situations. 

 

 

Today is a Gift, That's Why its Called The Present

Three hours earlier I just turned 23...
And here I am currently working  on  some paper works for our hospital, and on the side blogging. :)


Today is a  gift. And the present  I have for myself, is a blog where I can write everything and anything under the sun.


 And just like the past 22 years of my life, I am here to live for Him , who lend me this awesome life... as well for the people who constantly love me despite of me being  NOT perfect.


I'm going to continue on Fighting the Good Fight, Loss, Stand ,Dream  On,Kick Hard, Live, and Succeed.